When An Insurance Change Feels Like Everything Is At Risk
To say the last few weeks have been stressful would be an understatement.
My husband’s work is switching health insurance providers. Normally that wouldn't affect us much. I’ve only been to the doctor twice this year, and my husband hasn’t gone at all. But for Oakley, it changes everything. Between ABA, speech therapy, occupational therapy, physical therapy, ear tube surgery, and multiple urgent care visits, she has accumulated $66,500 in medical bills this year, $63,000 of which has been covered by our current insurance.
The thought of switching providers instantly sent me into panic mode. Will her therapies still be covered? Will there be delays? Could she lose her spot in a program we fought so hard to get into? It’s hard to explain how quickly stability can feel fragile.
I also found myself carrying guilt. Over a year ago, we were given paperwork for respite care and I didn’t fill it out, simply because I didn’t know how. If I had, Oakley would already have Medicaid as secondary coverage and none of this would be so terrifying. I finally completed it just one week before we found out about the insurance change and thankfully, her respite care was approved quickly. We’re now in the process of finalizing her Medicaid application and hoping it takes effect by the end of November.
While waiting, I called every number I could find for the new insurance provider, leaving voicemails, trying to get clarity, getting no response. Even Oakley’s therapy clinic reached out with no luck. Eventually, I had my husband message his company directly, explaining how urgent this is for our family. That finally got movement. We were contacted by two people with the new insurance company who are trying to get us answers. I still don’t have certainty, but for the first time in weeks, I feel a little hope.
We have sacrificed so much to get Oakley into these therapies, and she is thriving because of them. The idea of anything being paused, or worse, lost, has completely consumed me. This has been my entire focus lately.
Right now, we’re out of town at my husband’s family’s farm pheasant hunting, spending time with family, finally breathing a little easier. Oakley did great on the three-hour drive, got to pick out a few toys from Runnings, and is loving the fresh air. We really needed this in the middle of all the chaos.
If you’re in a hard or uncertain season too, I hope you find one moment, even a small one, to rest. To step away. To remember that joy still exists, even while everything feels heavy.
With love,
Emily
The Quiet Battles of Bedtime
There’s nothing quite like an hour and a half of screaming, hair-pulling, and head-banging at bedtime to remind me how powerless it can feel when love isn’t enough to calm her. It’s one of those moments that tests every ounce of patience and strength I have.
I gave her medicine because I thought she might be in pain but it breaks my heart that I have to guess. I wish she could just tell me what’s wrong, what hurts, what she needs. Instead, I’m left piecing together clues and hoping I make the right call.
It’s frustrating and lonely, standing there trying to soothe someone you love more than anything, knowing that love alone can’t fix what’s happening in that moment. I just want her to feel calm, safe, and understood.
These are the moments that don’t show up in pretty pictures or tidy stories. They’re raw and messy, but they’re real. And even in the hardest parts, I’m reminded that she’s trying just as hard as I am. We’re both doing our best to find our way through it.
With love,
Emily
Life with Oakley
Life with Oakley
Hi there, and welcome. My husband Logan and I are the proud parents of our amazing daughter, Oakley. If you’ve found your way here, thank you. It means a lot that you’re taking the time to get to know our family’s story.
Our daughter Oakley is 4 years old and was diagnosed with level 2 autism and global developmental delay. She is strong, funny, curious, and full of life. She is also navigating some very real challenges every single day.
This blog is a place for me to share our journey openly, honestly, and with love.
Our life is full. It’s full of therapy appointments, school schedules, big feelings, and even bigger wins. It’s also full of questions, emotions, and moments where we’re simply trying to figure things out one step at a time. Some days feel incredibly hard. Others, we’re bursting with pride. Most days, it's a mix of both.
Logan and I have chosen to embrace autism as part of who Oakley is, not something separate from her. It shapes how she experiences the world. And while that can come with challenges, it also comes with incredible strength.
Through this blog, we hope to share our perspective—one rooted in love, growth, honesty, and optimism.
Why I’m Starting This Blog
There are a few reasons I decided to create this space:
First, Oakley is a huge part of our lives, her presence is woven into every conversation, every plan, every decision. She keeps busy with speech, OT, PT, ABA therapy, preschool, and daycare. There’s always something new happening, and every new skill, no matter how small it may seem to others, feels like a major milestone for us. I wanted a space to honor those victories, share those stories, and process the tough moments too.
Second, I know we’re not the only family walking this path. Autism is more common than people realize, and yet, so many families feel alone in their experiences. I want this blog to be a place where others feel seen, where the hard days are acknowledged, and where we celebrate the small wins together. If our story helps even one family feel a little less isolated, then this will all be worth it.
Third, I hope this blog reaches people who don’t live in this world every day. I want to show what autism can look like through Oakley’s journey, not a definition, but a real-life, living, breathing experience. I hope it builds empathy and understanding for families like ours.
Our Journey So Far
Oakley came into the world in September 2020. By 8 months old, she was waving, saying “mama” and “dada,” sitting on her own, and hitting many of the typical early milestones. But around her first birthday, things began to shift. She stopped talking and waving, and we noticed her falling behind her peers developmentally.
At the time, I thought maybe it was due to me returning to work or the transition to daycare. I didn’t know what to look for, I was a first-time mom, doing my best.
At 22 months, we went to a different pediatrician for a routine visit. They asked us to fill out a milestone checklist, something we’d never done before. As Logan and I filled it out, I felt my heart sink. There were so many things Oakley wasn’t doing. The doctor performed an M-CHAT screening, and that was the first time we heard the words “high risk for autism.”
I cried that night. I googled everything I could. I panicked. I did what I now wish I hadn’t, I convinced myself it wasn’t true. I wasn’t ready to accept it, and I was afraid of what a diagnosis might mean for her future. I thought, “She’s just delayed. She’ll catch up.”
We enrolled Oakley in Early Childhood Intervention. For a year, therapists came to our home once a week. When she aged out at 3, she transitioned to Early Childhood Special Education. At first, her evaluation labeled her as having an “undiagnosed disability.” But that summer, Oakley began displaying self-injurious behaviors, head banging that left bruises and even a displaced nose.
It was heartbreaking, and it became undeniable that something more was going on.
She started school in August 2023, and it was a hard year. I was called to pick her up early more times than I can count. Some days I kept her home just to avoid the distress. We weren’t seeing much progress. I requested a new evaluation, and in March 2024, she received her educational autism diagnosis. By July, we received her official medical diagnosis.
Around the same time, we made a big decision, we sold our home and moved closer to her therapy clinic. We wanted to give her better access to services, and that meant starting fresh in a new place. Oakley began a busy schedule: multiple therapies each morning, followed by preschool every afternoon. It was a lot, and I worried if it would be too much for her.
But looking back now, I’m amazed by her resilience. She has grown so much. Every inch of progress has been hard-earned, and I am so proud of her.
This past year has been filled with learning for all of us. I’ve felt guilt, doubt, and fear. I’ve also felt pride, joy, and an overwhelming amount of love. I’m still learning how to give myself grace for the things I didn’t know then.
This journey doesn’t come with a manual, and every day is different.
I hope this blog can be a source of honesty, support, and connection for parents walking similar paths, and for anyone who wants to understand a little more about what autism can look like through the lens of one very loved little girl.
Thanks for being here.
I can’t wait to share more of Oakley’s world with you.
With love,
Emily